Thursday, January 13, 2011

Struggling

I feel like I am behind on my blogs so I thought I would post one, even though right now I don't feel like doing much. I am not sure if its just because I am emotional right now, or I really am just this down in the dump. Either way I feel like I am back at rock bottom and I can't seem to figure out how to stay above water. Maybe its because I just don't want to without you, or I just don't know how to stay positive right now when everything looks and feels like its about to explode in my face.

Well Raliegh made me work out yesterday, and I was absolutely miserable. I hate running, and I feel like its to the point where I am scared to run in front of people. Its kinda weird that I can kiss a girl in public, but I can't run in public. I guess I have some working to do, but one day maybe I will be able to. Anyways, for my work out I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, then I biked about 10 minutes until Raliegh pried me off it and made me run on the treadmill. I only did it for 10 minutes, she told me I only had to do it that long, then I went back to biking for 20 minutes. The elliptical and biking weren't bad at all, but I was miserable running. I hated it and of course there was a mirror right in front of me, that sucked cause all I did was look at my floppy fin (my right foot that spins out when it comes forward) and it made me feel even stupider. I guess me running is like you eating. And on top of all that Raliegh's boyfriend felt it necessary to brag about how he can run more and faster than me, and I was like seriously? I just keep telling myself its a challenge, and that one day you will be better than him...though I know a 5:45 mile will be impossible for me. But thats what I did for my first workout back, oh I forgot we lifted also. We focused on arms and Raliegh was about 10 pounds stronger than me in everything at least...shes a beast. I am pretty sure thats all we did, we were in the gym about 90 minutes or so and I was shaking by the time we got out of there, my body was done. I am dreading going back today but I know I have to commit.

Here are some pictures from the last couple of days.

































The last pictures was my journey at the mall. I was looking for new boot, and I think I found them....they are hot pink!!! The food pictures are what I ate, doesnt it look oh so yummy? Yeah but thats really a typical day in Kearney. Well I have to go to a meeting soon so I am gunna wrap it up here.